How Purpose and Relationships Shape a Meaningful Life

Dr. Rhonda Patrick: You also have to realize that worshipping things like power or money or fame, these things are also trying to fulfill a void, that happiness void, right? So, like, there's plenty of people that are very successful, very wealthy, very powerful that are not happy. Why is that, right? Because it doesn't bring happiness. It doesn't bring happiness, and I think most of us out there that do know people like this or we see like look at Hollywood actors. Their marriages are constantly breaking apart, right? They're wealthy, they're famous, they have what by anyone's standards would think, oh, they have everything. There's always this treadmill of it's not good enough, it's not good enough, I need more, I need more, and it's a very slippery slope to get on that treadmill of let's say you start to get some success, but then you're comparing yourself to everyone else, then you need more, and so you're not happy because you're not getting those things, and I think that's what comes back to those macronutrients of happiness that Dr. Arthur Brooks talks about where it's the enjoyment in the relationships, it's the sense of purpose. You have to have that sense of purpose? Are you a mother? Are you someone like me who I love helping and educating people to live healthier? I feel like that is my sense of purpose. And you have to have satisfaction, right? Satisfaction of doing something, accomplishing it, whether it's a 10-minute workout in the morning, whether it's reading a book, finishing reading it, whatever it is, you have to have the satisfaction of doing that challenging thing, and all these things help you maintain happiness and have happiness, and I think that helps.

PBD Podcast Host: I love it. After the 2008 market crash, more books began using the words happy or happiness because everybody wanted to know how to be happy. Then you realize that happiness is temporary. Fulfillment comes from having a deeper purpose.

People can move from survival and paying bills, to pursuing status, credentials, income, and followers, and then to wanting freedom. Once they have some freedom and money in the bank, they ask what they really want to do. It eventually comes back to purpose. You can feel when someone is pursuing something bigger than money.

Dr. Rhonda Patrick: After I talked to Dr. Brooks, I realized that reflecting on mortality is also a practice among Tibetan monks and Buddhists. It sounds morbid, but it can be a useful exercise because life is finite. At the end of life, what will be important? You cannot take another 100,000 followers or another million dollars with you.

PBD Podcast Host: No.

Dr. Rhonda Patrick: Is it going to be another podcast? No. What is it going to be that's meaningful to you? And for me, it was the time I was with my family, the experiences that you cannot put a value on and it's something that it is called mortality dwelling, but if you think about it because for me as a high achiever, being a parent, my productivity went down. And I struggled with that for a while. And it wasn't until I really started thinking about what was most important to me. And again, I think people can really tap into that by thinking about their death. And when you think about it, you'll find what's important to you. And it's not going to be the money. It's not going to be the fame. It's not going to be the followers. It's going to be the memories and the experiences and those treasured moments with your people that you love, family, your kids, your friends, your parents.

Yep. Those are the moments that are so precious. And that also brings me back to like a lot of people like they're searching for this higher power, right? Like there's like God or something, spiritual, right? And for me, I was raised Catholic. So, I had a baseline to go back to. And as I got older, I kind of drifted and became a little bit too analytical and it wasn't until I became a mother that I found God again.

PBD Podcast Host: Why?

Dr. Rhonda Patrick: Because the love I experienced becoming a mother and the love I had for my son, not that I didn't love my husband as much because I definitely love my husband, too. But there's something about having a child that there is this overwhelming sense of love and I would go on these long runs and think about it and think about my mortality and never seeing my son again after I die. And I think it just can't be possible. You can't experience the bonding and the closeness and the love that you do as a parent and then have it just go away. And for me, I found God again. And for other people, it might be something that's very traumatic. Sometimes you get to your lowest point and that's how you basically can find God or whatever your spirituality is, but for me it was becoming a mom. The love that I had for my son and thinking that it can't just be gone. Like it's too powerful. It's too powerful. What I am getting at is happiness and I think part of that component is finding your spirituality, whatever your religion is. Some people find that through meditation and eventually find God, but I think it's all part of happiness and people do sort of seek that out.

PBD Podcast Host: Did that also get you closer to mom and dad?

Dr. Rhonda Patrick: It brought me closer to everyone I love and helped me prioritize those relationships. High achievers can become trapped in a productivity loop of work, podcasts, and presentations. Achievement provides satisfaction and can involve some ego, but I realized that I also needed to make time for family vacations and hours with close friends. Relationships require effort, but the effort is rewarding.

Preparing for my podcast with Dr. Arthur Brooks and reading his work reinforced what I had begun to realize. You must act intentionally. Happiness does not simply happen to you. Like a good diet, it requires the right components and continued work.

PBD Podcast Host: No. I need your book list. The more you talk, the more books come to mind. Napoleon Hill wrote Outwitting the Devil in 1938, but it was set aside and published later. My sister recommended it, and I found it powerful. It describes how institutions can use fear to confine people, and how people can learn to let that fear go. I think you would enjoy it.